19.12.17

I miss my Mom

To treat my CRION, I'm taking immunosuppressants, which is just what you want to be taking when you work for a school filled with coughing, sneezing, sniffling kids.  So it's no surprise that I got a cough.  And when I say "cough" I mean 20-minute coughing fits that left me breathless and with pulled muscles.  It lasted two weeks and only seemed to be controlled by double doses of cough suppressants. 

As I lay there, totally loopy from the medication and weak from the coughing, I started to think about the medicine cabinet of my youth.  Don't ask why I started to think about it, just accept that I did.  And I remembered that Robitussin was always there. along with another syrup I couldn't remember the name of... N-something was as far as I got.

Two years ago, I would have called home and talked with my mother.  She'd know.  Even a year ago there was a chance she'd remember.  But now?  The Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where I know she won't.  And the effort of trying to remember would frustrate her, causing more distress than she deserves.  Sometimes, Mom's still there.  But mostly... not.

I miss my Mom.

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