12.11.17

Landmarking

We all have those landmarks we're waiting to pass: first birthday, first time in "double digits", first time driving a car, getting into college, buying a car or house, etc..  It's a natural way to measure time and our progress in the world. 

Over the past couple of years I've started to think about upcoming landmarks, some of which are personal (health, family) and some are professional (retirement, last job).  Last night, as I drifted off to sleep, some of those drifted through my mind, not always in a pleasant way.  Example: I have so many books on Mt. Bookpile - will I ever read them?  Another example: since my eye problems began, I've had two relapses - when is the next one, or can we prevent it?

And then there was the pleasant one of our Big Girl giving me kisses as I read (totally interrupting Saturday Book Club reading), something I haven't had since last year when our Old Guy joined the Mantle Cats.  And our Only Guy has gotten a little friendlier... my landmark will be when he lets me cuddle him (or, more realistically, when he curls up in bed and doesn't run away after a minute).

I've been reflecting on some of the landmarks long since passed, and others that never really happened.  Some, like children, were just not going to happen.  Others?  Most days I don't think about them but some days there's a fleeting regret.  Let me be clear: I hate regrets.  They're like guilty pleasures - at a certain point in your life, stop.  You're too old to feel guilt about something that gives you pleasure.  I've reached that time, but the time to stop having regrets?  Not so much.

Maybe that's my next landmark?  The land of no regrets.  Or as close to it I can get.

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