A couple of years ago, things in my life changed (Things changed, too, but that's another post). Then, this time last year I started to contemplate a Big Life Change... which began to feel more and more real as the summer progressed. Mentally, I'd already made that change, a change that would have had immeasurable effects on who I am, who I thought of myself as being, what I did. Seriously Big Life Changes.
Then, just as I was getting comfortable with that - looking forward to it, to be honest - another option presented itself. Lazy people are rarely spontaneous, but this time I acted and a completely different Big Life Change resulted.
The problem is that mentally, sometimes, I'm still in that first change. There are things that I have to do and then I wonder, why? What if I didn't do this... or that... or participate in these activities... or gave up doing these other things? Oh wait, I can't. Because I made a different Big Life Change.
As an adjunct to that, other things in my life have changed for the worse. My health, especially my weight. My sleep patterns. My ability to concentrate on things that really are important. All because sometimes - sadly, more often than it should be - I'm in that other change. Instead of the one I'm in.
51 years ago, the Gal you know as Lazy was born (or, as one friend says, hatched). The genetic brew that two teens created would always have resulted in a just-under 5'5", fair-skinned, dark haired, heterochromatic female. So happy birthday to that Gal! But the Lazy part legally became Lazy just under 50 years ago, when two others were granted permanent parenthood of the Gal. And sometimes I wonder what would have happened had I been adopted by other people: would I be able to sing on key? be more comfortable with math and science? speak Spanish or German or Hindi? Maybe I'd be JoggingGal, or BikingGal. There might be fewer books (and cats) in the house. The Things would be different, too. One can never know how life would have turned out, can one? Do I feel the separate parts matter? Of course, without Gal, there'd be no Lazy. Without Lazy, though... Anyway, Happy Birthday to one of me. The other me can just wait a little while.