The other night Thing One and I went to a concert. It was a jazz/blues evening, not a rock concert, held in a smallish performance space.
Looking at the others in the audience, it became clear: some people simply don't know how to act at, or dress for, these events. As a public service I'm providing some tips.
It's not a rock concert. Dress up a little. That means "business casual" or "good jeans and nice top" not "ratty t-shirt, cargo shorts and Birkenstocks". Do you have a "tramp stamp"? Cover it up. The people in the row behind you shouldn't be able to tell what color your thong is. And as proud as you may be of your concert T from 198? for a famous rock band, leave it at home. This isn't to suggest coat and tie, or cocktail dress and heels, but, you know, look nice. Show some respect for the players and the other members of the audience.
It's not your living room. In other words, keep your comments to yourself. There were two couples ahead of our row who talked and talked and talked. The gentleman immediately ahead of us actually did quiet down when I mentioned that I, too, was enjoying the vibraphonist and would enjoy it even more if I didn't have his commentary. The second couple, on the other hand, couldn't manage to stop making out and chatting throughout the entire evening, despite two other people asking them to please - for the love of jazz, please - be quiet. I even suggested that I could teach them how to whisper (because, as a librarian, I kinda know how to do that). No luck.
Everyone got that? Dress nice, and be quiet. Simple really.