16.2.14

Split Personalities

A couple of years ago, things in my life changed (Things changed, too, but that's another post).  Then, this time last year I started to contemplate a Big Life Change... which began to feel more and more real as the summer progressed.  Mentally, I'd already made that change, a change that would have had immeasurable effects on who I am, who I thought of myself as being, what I did.  Seriously Big Life Changes.

Then, just as I was getting comfortable with that - looking forward to it, to be honest - another option presented itself.  Lazy people are rarely spontaneous, but this time I acted and a completely different Big Life Change resulted.

The problem is that mentally, sometimes, I'm still in that first change.  There are things that I have to do and then I wonder, why?  What if I didn't do this... or that... or participate in these activities... or gave up doing these other things? Oh wait, I can't.  Because I made a different Big Life Change.

As an adjunct to that, other things in my life have changed for the worse.  My health, especially my weight.  My sleep patterns.  My ability to concentrate on things that really are important.  All because sometimes - sadly, more often than it should be - I'm in that other change.  Instead of the one I'm in.

1 comment:

Aravis said...

*HUG* The thing about life is that it's always changing. Change is a choice, and choices have consequences. But there are always more choices, more changes, that can be made. Accepting and adjusting to choices made are also change options. It comes to this: what do you want? And what will it take to get it?