12.6.13

Nevermore (aka A Tale of Two Lunches)

Recently, I had two lunches that have made me think and resolve "nevermore".

The first was with a good friend, 81 years old, now studying for her fourth master's degree (Yep.  Fourth.  I'm such a slacker with only one!).  We started talking about our To Do lists and how we get sidetracked, and she mentioned a few tv shows that manage to eat up years of her life.  Shows like the Real Housewives franchise, or House Hunters Internationals.  Or, in my case, Love It or List It, Hoarders and Bang for Your Buck.  I have a cousin who loves Shipping Wars and Storage Wars, as well as Duck Dynasty. My epiphany moment was that we weren't saying things like "I shouldn't say/admit this..." or "My guilty pleasure is...".  We were being open and honest about what we watched, sadly to the detriment of what we really should be doing.

Kids don't have what we adults call guilty pleasures, do they?  Show me one kid who says, "I really shouldn't say this, but I prefer chicken fingers to spinach and brussels sprouts"  I dare ya.  They'll admit they hate the veggies, but it's not a guilty feeling.  Only adults are expected to feel guilty over the tv, book or musical equivalent of chicken fingers.

So nevermore.  What I like, I like.  I'll say it loud and proud.

The second lunch was with a college friend, who made a resolution to finally stop letting the past be as big a negative influence on his life as it has been up to now.  Great idea and many kudos for that.  During our conversation, he said something like "if you hurt me, my family, or break my heart, you're dead to me" (no, he wasn't talking about me, but the general you).  Again, I applaud that.  But I did wonder how much energy he was expending into that "dead to me" part - because I've been guilty of that.

My second epiphany moment? If people are "dead to me" then they really should be.  Their names shouldn't cross my lips, or flit through my mind.  My mother has that ability: according to one of her friends, if a store or restaurant doesn't please my mom, she just completely blocks them out of her mind, as though they don't exist. There are several people that fit into that category, and henceforth, I'm going to stop obsessing about why they are dead to me - they simply don't exist in my world.

So nevermore.  What was I talking about?

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