This hurts me more than it hurts you...

Let us agree that there is a precipitating event (or events), and that actual emotional or physical harm was done. Not just once, actually. And let us also agree that this was made clear to the other party. For example, "hey! you just stepped on that guy's foot" or "I don't like it when you say ....", etc.

So, should the response be

1. "I'm sorry I hurt you"
2. "I'm sorry you were hurt"
3. "Your/their [emotions/toes] will stop hurting long before my pride does"

(the above brought to you by reality, not necessarily mine)


Aravis said...

I'd go with number 1 if I'm the one who caused the hurt. It's a matter of me taking responsibility for my actions.

camillofan said...

If an apology's called for (always in the case of foot-mashing, sometimes in the case of emotion-mashing), then (1) is the only way to do it.

But if (2) were really how I felt, then I'd find a way to say it that didn't include the word "sorry"... because it's not an apology and shouldn't be dressed as one.

Ummm, (3)? Yikes.