18.9.10

Where's The Shadow when I need him?

The summer is over, along with all the attendant angst over the library move. My health is on the mend, and I'm actually moving ahead with things... including more decluttering. Paper first, closets next, and by the end of the Winter Break: the basement. Even - gasp - possibly some books. Or maybe that's overreaching?

And once again I'm decluttering my life of people that aren't healthy for me. There's someone in my life that doesn't value me and what I contribute: the bad things are noticed and critiqued, the good things ignored or unnoticed. We had a conversation a while ago and it's clear that change is not going to happen, no matter what I do (or don't do). Thing is, people only change if they perceive that the change will bring more good things into their life, not because you want them to. That's not to say I can't change, but all relationships need to be a two-way street and if it's clear the other isn't going to change, it's time to find another road.

This realization hurts, of course, but ultimately the loss of stress and distress will be a very good thing.

It also reminds me of a few conversations I had over the summer with some very smart young women. They're both in their 20s (although one is "nearly 30"), and in some ways they are so very together. I wonder if it's a generational thing, or a chronological age thing, this nearly Zen-like ability to clearly see their lives and make choices uncluttered by the types of distractions that me and my friends have.

Years ago another friend said that you never know what's going on in someone else's life, which is very true. These two young women may not be as together as they appear... and the person that I'd like to change may have things going on that prevent the type of change I need.

Unlike the Shadow, I just don't know...

1 comment:

Aravis said...

When you've finished de-cluttering your life, would you please de-clutter mine?