22.7.10

Things that don't really keep me up at night

Yesterday, LB1 and I were talking about her experiences with Landmark Forum; her uncle was really into it and convinced her to go to one of their seminars.  Her feeling was that it was so popular in California because people there feel guilty about the great weather they have, so they obsess over their issues that much more.  At 19, she didn't feel that she'd made enough bad choices to have any regrets, particularly not the type of things that seemed to keep her seminarmates up at night.

I started thinking about the things that don't really keep me up at night.  Nothing really does, although there are a few things that I'll obsess about** in the short-term.  Things like:
  • why I'm such a magnet for bad supervisors - the number of "spectacularly bad" far outweighs the "neutral" or "good"
  • "this isn't working out" occasions an 'ok' or no response?  really??
  • why my parents never really talk about their childhoods or families (seriously: I have to get my information from their cousins or siblings; a therapist would probably blame my adoption, I blame natural curiosity about what made them who they are)
  • what is the proper response to a FB message from someone that clearly knows you, but who you have no memory of at all?  it feels rude not to respond at all, but what on earth do you say?!
  • how do I keep from getting annoyed when going for an MRI and being asked 10 times in 5 minutes whether I'm sure I'm not pregnant.  trust me: I'm not.  stop asking.
  • can I really refrain from telling someone that just because they have an MBA from Wharton doesn't mean that their memos don't sound like they were translated from Masai into English via Basque?  
  • why I have such a distorted body image: I see myself as short, because I take a petite size (and you try getting pudgy petite pants, it's not easy) and as having a normal skin tone, rather than the incredibly pale coloration that everyone else tells me I have.
All the other, far more important stuff?  I guess going to Meeting and having friends and therapy over the years have helped. 

What things don't really keep you up at night?


** by "obsess over" I mean those things that stick in my brain and come to the surface of my over-caffeinated brain at 1am when I've been silly enough to  have a latte at, say 10am, and which don't bother me at all otherwise.

3 comments:

Aravis said...

FB friend: how about asking them how they are, what they've been up to, generic stuff. It could be that part of their response might jog your memory.

As a future therapist, I would say you're experiencing natural curiosity. I'm not adopted and I feel the same way about my family. Of course, you should check back with me once I'm a full-fledged therapist. I might be required to blame everything on parents and adoption once I'm licensed. ;0)

MRI: ask them if alien implantation counts as pregnancy, because if so your recent abduction may result in spawn.

Jandy said...

Interesting - about three nights ago I was kept awake thinking about my grandmothers' lives - and which aunts and uncles I should ask about them for a different perspective than my parents'. Otherwise, I'll find myself rehashing some work problem more often than not.

Anonymous said...

Ask your questions now, while they are still vertical. RLC