17.11.08

Missing You

One of the people I dined with at the Harvest Festival was the creator of the Fractured Friendships blog. Since then, I've pondered the meaning of "fractured" with regard to friendships: to me, "fractured" implies that it can be mended. What about those friendships that are broken - beyond repair. Perhaps it happened at a time when both parties were overly involved in other things, and then when one looked around, the other had moved with no forwarding address. Perhaps death played a part. Perhaps you were BFFs at work and one left, and with that common ground gone the friendship foundered. Or perhaps it was words/actions that just could not be overcome.

No matter what the reason, the relationship is broken, never to be whole again. Sometimes we wonder if the fracture is (in reality) a break. The problem is that the other is the one person that knows you "in that way", the one person with that point-of-view, the one person that shared whatever made the relationship yours. And while you can find others to fill the friendship void, you'll never find an exact match. There's always a gap, a loss. And you wonder (question? hope against hope?) that there isn't a real break, that it is only a fracture that needs a splint and some healing time.

At the Summit this past weekend, a presenter mentioned a book that would be absolutely perfect for someone I can no longer give to; I've passed the information along to a mutual friend in hope that it will find its home. A couple of students have mentioned things that remind me of a friend that died almost 20 years ago, throwing that loss into sharp relief. And there are things going on in my life that highlight the loss of other friends, ones that I know could give sane advice or guidance (or just provide the perfect wall upon which to bounce off ideas).

Fractures heal. It's getting over the break that's difficult.

1 comment:

Aravis said...

How bittersweet, remembering those friendships.