7.8.08

Thank you for being a friend

Over on 37 days, there's a contest for people to post how they would spend their last 37 days of life (it's tied into the release of Life is a Verb). I've mulled over how I would spend my last 37 days, and the list basically includes travel to see friends one last time, and then heading to bed to re-read some favorite books and snuggle with The Boys.

One respondent said, among other things:
Say all of the things in my heart that I feel and want people to know. The things that I’m usually too busy to express because I’m reading email, slicing cucumbers, paying bills, folding laundry, watching movies, buying a latte, standing in the magazine aisle at Walgreen’s reading the latest issue of People. Be more present than ever. Not be alone.
I agree. Particularly with the part about telling people the things that are in your heart - how often do we do that? Of course, there are times when what's in our hearts is not "good", it's anger, it's frustration, it's hurt.

In conjunction with that, I've mulled this (can't remember where I first read it):
“I look at my relationships all the time. If a relationship is really negative on an ongoing basis, what am I doing in it? What am I protecting? Am I protecting someone from the hurt and sting of losing me? Because that’s not healthy. It’s not good."
As I've said in the past, I'm pruning my relationships and this is part of the criteria. Sometimes, that's easier to think about than to do: what about work relationships that are negative? what about people that you care about, but are drains on you?

And then there's the online vs. Real Life friend issue. I know that there are many people that do find great friends online. I've made friends online, and grown closer to old friends thanks to "social media". Yet there is a difference between the two. As this post says:
How a friend takes leave of you varies from one relationship to another. Some friends find a new lover, a new job, or move away and lose touch with everyone in their "previous" life. Some are torn from us as a result of politics, disease and/or an untimely death. ... Any way you slice it, true friendship is accompanied by rights and responsibilities. ... How do you compare someone you never met -- but who has posted a link to your online profile -- with someone who has stood by you through thick and thin? How do you compare someone who wants to be on your buddy list (despite never having exchanged a single thought with you) to someone who has held your hand through marriages, divorces, births and funerals? ... I wonder: How do you equate more than 45 years of soul sharing and intellectual intimacy with an IM from a total stranger who asks "R U there?"

To all my real life friends, thank you for being a friend. To all my online friends, thank you, too. And to those friends that have left my life, who have no idea that I'm writing this, thank you for what time we had. Let's hope I never have only 37 days left to say that.

2 comments:

doug0077 said...

Hi Lazy,

I do know this - I cancel any teeth cleanings I might have scheduled if I only had 37 days left.

Doug

Aravis said...

My thanks to you as well, L.

And I'd have to follow Doug's lead. *G*