So, what's been getting me down?
- There is someone in my life that is a very negative presence. Almost every comment is a complaint, an accusation, an argument (you get the picture). I can't get this person out of my life, and dealing with them is so draining, so disheartening that it colors the rest of my interactions with people. Yesterday, in a completely unprofessional manner, I lost it and said that if this person couldn't be positive about things, we were going to have real trouble. That the constant arguments and negative comments must stop now. I feel bad that my professionalism failed me, that I let my emotions get the better of me, but I just couldn't take another installment of this (one argument has been ongoing for almost two years now).
- There is another person in my life that has, over a period of a number of years, treated me rather badly. For a variety of reasons, none particularly commendable, I've put up with it, hoping that things would change. As I've moved from The City to The Cottage to The House, I've tried to change this relationship - it's gotten to the point where I'm ready to say "enough. stop." because change isn't forthcoming. There are good things that this person brings to my life, but many times I feel so edgy around them that it can take a week to recover from time spent together.
- The House isn't where I want it to be, organizationally. Painting still needs to be done (and I know some people I could hire for the lesser problem places, but I'm in a frugal mode and I could do it on my own)... my office space isn't organized... my bedroom isn't "nesty" enough yet... The Collection is still boxed (although I understand we're 2 bookcases down, 6 to go so things are moving in that area)... and the kitchen doesn't work. I know it can take months for these things to get done, but that's not how I've worked in the past. All three of my past moves/settling in time were much, much quicker.
Because of The Storm last week, Meeting was canceled. Tomorrow, I have to go to another Meeting so I can make it to the Book Fair on time. What I'd really like is to go to my Meeting, then come home to quiet - and hope that I can work some of the above out. Because where I am right now just isn't a good place.