16.4.06

Notable Quotes

I think about how I, too, need to move on, remake myself. If my body were a house, I'd get rid of all the things no longer used or needed. I'd furnish myself only with things that work well. I'd be clean, spare, filled with light. I'd be square, sturdy, thick-timbered, with shining floors. I'd tell people to leave me alone, long enough for me to get settled. I'd look out of my own windows and see deep valleys filled with golden-leaved beech trees....

I need to find clarity inside myself. I need to stop allowing other people, or circumstances, to set my agenda. I must not care about what people think -- either of me or of what I do. I need to find the strength to do what I want to do. I am in the habit of smothering myself, hiding, as if who I am is somehow shameful....

Self-worth: the need to get a grade, to make the 'A' on the paper, in order to believe in myself. That is outside affirmation. Where is my own yardstick? What is it about myself that I like, that I care about, that I believe is good? What is the basis of self-love from which I can give love? It's time for me to learn that I'm the only one qualified to judge myself.


Beth Powning, Edge Seasons

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